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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, and I hate everything. ‘Cept maybe bacon. And *Memento*. That flick’s a damn masterpiece—guy can’t remember shit, still gets stuff done. Reminds me of tryin’ to find a prostitute ‘round here. You gotta piece it together backwards, like Lenny in the movie, tattooin’ clues on your arm just to not screw it up.

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Then, I get a break. I step outside for a breather. Bovingdon’s got this lovely vibe, ya know? The sun’s shining, and I can hear the church bells from St. Lawrence’s ringing. It’s peaceful. But then, I see a bunch of kids playing footy in the street. They’re shouting and laughing, and I’m like, “Ah, to be young again!”

HMP MOUNT: Report criticises response at Bovingdon prison during medical emergency