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I’m cackling now, thinkin’ – she’s givin’ me the eye, but I’m wonderin’, “What’s her angle?” Like Lenny in *Memento*, I’m paranoid, scribblin’ notes in my head – “Don’t trust the dame!” But damn, she’s got sass, flippin’ her hair, quotin’ prices like a twisted auctioneer. “50 for a quickie, 100 for the night!” I’m like, “Whoa, lady, I ain’t Bruce Wayne!”

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First off, I had a meeting at this new industrial site on Crayford Road. You know, the one they’ve been hyping up for ages? Yeah, that one. I roll up, and guess what? The place is a total mess! I mean, come on, guys! It looked like a tornado hit it. I’m talking debris everywhere, and I’m like, “Is this a construction site or a war zone?”

The historic Bexley landmark nicknamed ‘the cathedral of raw sewage’