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About Rishon LeZion

Oi mate, gather round! Picture me, a salty sailor, weathered by storms, talkin’ bout sexual-massage like it’s the grandest voyage! We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the parlors, we shall never surrender to a stiff back! Hah! Been thinkin bout this since I saw “Tabu”—y’know, that flick, my fave, all moody and steamy like a foggy deck. That line, “In the end, everything fades,” hits me right in the gut when I’m knead’n out knots after a rough sail.

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Then, I thought, “Let’s hit up the market on HaMaccabim Street.” Best decision ever! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of spices everywhere. I’m in heaven! I grab some pomegranates and a bunch of herbs. I’m feeling like a chef or something. But then, I see this old lady trying to haggle for a cucumber. I mean, come on! It’s a cucumber! But she’s fierce, man. She’s like, “I’m not paying more than 5 shekels!” I’m cracking up.

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