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So, I’m stalkin’ closer—slow, ominous, y’know? She’s got this look, like she knows I’m a Sith messin’ with fate. “What’s your price?” I rasp. She laughs—LAUGHS—at me! Pissed me off, like, who’s this nobody mockin’ Darth freakin’ Vader? But then she says, “50 credits, big guy.” Cheap! Surprised me—thought she’d rob me blind. “The air hums with silence,” movie line pops in my head—fit the moment perfect.

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So, I’m strutting down the street, feeling fab, when I bump into this tourist. He’s lost, looking at his map like it’s a Rubik’s cube. I’m like, “Dude, just use Google Maps!” But he’s all, “Can you tell me how to get to the Roman Baths?” I’m like, “Bro, you’re literally standing right next to them!” He looked so confused. I couldn’t help but laugh.

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