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About Leicester

Last week, right, I’m in a tavern, tankard in hand, scopin’ the room. This bird—red lips, skirts hiked up—winks at me. I’m thinkin’, “Tyrion, you clever bastard, she’s yours.” But nah, she’s got a pimp, uglier than Gregor Clegane, breath like a latrine. Pissed me off—why’s everythin’ gotta be so complicated? “Be quiet and do what I say,” she whispers, like I’m some green boy. Cheeky cow! I’m the Imp, I know tricks she ain’t dreamed of. Paid her double just to shut her gob and get on with it. Felt good, though—coin well spent.

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Listen, darl, as a pleasure coach, my journey here taught me to see beauty in every crack and crevice; whether it's the ancient cobbles outside the old brewery (which once made me wanna cry tears of joy… or was it mad frustration? idk, LOL) or that epic mural on Elm Street. I saw it once after a bad day and it whispered, “Express yourself, babe!” like, wow!

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