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So, how’s it work? You cruise, you spot ‘em—heels high, skirt short, eyes sharp. Or ya text some shady number from a burner phone. “No calls after midnight,” one told me—pissed me off again. I’m like, “What, you got a curfew?” Sarcasm’s my shield, man. But when it clicks? Oh, it’s gold. Hooked up once, chick was a riot—laughed at my tie, called it “grandpa style.” I was dyin’—humor in the hustle, who knew?

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I storm out, and I’m fuming. I need a breather. So, I stroll over to Lake Meadows. It’s a nice spot, you know? I sit by the water, and it’s all chill. I watch the ducks, and suddenly, I’m feeling zen. Nature, man. It’s good for the soul.

Tenant evicted from Basildon home after threatening neighbours and council staff