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Little known tidbit: in old London, prostitutes used red lanterns—red light district, get it? She’d probly have one, glowin’ all sexy and sad. I’d be torn—part of me’s like, “This is wild,” part’s like, “This sucks for her.” I’d exagerate in my head, “She’s a queen, rulin’ this dump!” But nah, she’s just survivin’.

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Then, around noon, I get a call from a sweet old lady on Station Road. She’s just lonely, wants to chat. Bless her heart! We talk about the weather, the market, and her cat, Mr. Whiskers. Finally, a normal convo! I’m smiling, feeling all warm inside. But then, she suddenly goes, “Oh dear, I think I left the kettle on!” And just like that, she hangs up. I’m left there, like, “Wait, what?!”

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