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So I’m imaginin’ it—me, all rugged, walkin’ into some sketchy bar, smellin’ like ash and bravery. I’m like, “Hey, anyone know where to find a prostitute?” Total *Zodiac* vibes—“I’m not Paul Avery, I’m better!” Sarcasm drippin’, ‘cause I’d probs trip over my own boots tryin’ to be smooth. Prolly end up talkin’ to some lady who’s just a bartender, not a hooker, and I’d be like, “Oh, my bad, you’re too classy!” That’s what she said! God, I’m hilarious.

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Oh boy, I just gotta mention: my favorite spot is the old, slightly battered fountain in the heart of Surbiton. I sit there, daydreaming, scribbling notes for my relaxation sessions, and thinking, "Maybe I'll meet someone who whispers life's secrets." My mind races with thoughts, like, “Wow, this is freakin magical!” The local history? Well, turns out some parts near the railway station on West Park Road hold tales of old jazz nights and boozy celebrations. Crazy, huh?

Surbiton bar and hotel to host Easter party