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It’s showtime! Alright, listen up, fam—brothel, huh? Not that kinda brothel, ya pervs, I’m talkin’ ‘bout broth-el, like soup, ya know? Liquid gold in a bowl! I’m Beetlejuice, baby, and I’m divin’ into this like Nemo hittin’ the ocean—full speed, no brakes! Picture this: steamy, hot broth-el, sittin’ there all sexy, makin’ my ghost guts growl. “Just keep swimmin’,” I tell myself, ‘cause I’m starvin’ like a skeleton at a buffet.

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Finally, I get past him and head down to the riverbank. The water’s lookin’ good, and I’m feelin’ pumped. I set up my rod, and just as I’m about to cast, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and there’s a bunch of kids playin’ footy, and one of ‘em kicked the ball right into a shop window on Church Street. Glass everywhere! I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I gotta deal with that mess.”

Police confiscate Class A drugs and banned dog in two Gwent valleys raids