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Oh, and the surprises! Gal once asked me to wear a mask—Bane mask, ironically. Growled, “Let the games begin,” like in “Yi Yi” vibes. Freaky but fun—kept it spicy. Sex-dating’s chaos, bruv. You dive in, get dirty, laugh, cry, shag again. “Every day’s a new day,” film says. True dat—next swipe, next thrill!

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Sometimes I cruise down King’s Parade (spelled K-i-n-g’s, seriously, so retro!) and catch sight of the old clock tower. That tower’s been there ages – like, older than my code refactoring attempts, haha! Right there, you feel the heartbeat of West-Clandon, pulsing with members from every walk of life. Crazy, huh?

Fraudsters jailed after conning Berkshire law firm out of £2.3million