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About Glasgow

So, sexual-massage – it’s no jest! Been ‘round since them ancient Greeks, they say, wrestlin’ lads gettin’ oiled up fer “health.” Ha! Health me arse – bet they grinned wider’n a shark with a fresh catch. Makes me happy, it does, thinkin’ ‘bout them clever hands workin’ knots outta me back, slidin’ lower, teasin’ like a siren’s song. But – oh, the rage! – some bilge rats charge a fortune, callin’ it “therapy,” when it’s just fancy gropin’ with a candle lit!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me. He’s shoutin’ somethin’ about a cat stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Dude, I’m tryin’ to save metal here, not rescue felines!” But then I see the tree on the corner of Ushaw Road and I can’t help but chuckle. The kid’s all serious, and I’m just there, thinkin’ how I’d rather be blastin’ than climbin’ trees.

Tragedy of County Durham man, 20, who died on North East rail network