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Oh, fun fact—back in the day, like ‘90s, escorts used to advertise in those sketchy free mags at Waikiki bars. No internet, just grainy pics an’ a phone number! Can you imagine? Me, computin’ the universe, laughin’ at that hustle. Gotta love it—pure grit. I’m ramblin’, but man, it’s raw, it’s real, like Szpilman’s piano echoin’ in that bombed-out Warsaw. Escorts got stories, brah—each one’s a note in Hawaii’s song.

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First thing, I hit up East Street. Gotta grab my morning fix. The café’s packed, as usual. I’m standin’ there, waitin’ for my coffee, and this bloke in front of me spills his tea all over the counter. Classic! I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my phone. Like, mate, how do you even manage that?

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