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Escort’s a funny old game, yeah? Not your nan’s tea party. These escorts, they’re pros, right - dolled up, fake smiles, probably bored out their skulls. I reckon half of ‘em are thinking, “Christ, this knob again?” while counting the minutes. Did you know, back in the ‘80s, some posh London escort got nabbed cos she was secretly a Soviet spy? True story! Shagging for secrets - makes James Bond look like a choirboy. Wild, that - had me gobsmacked when I read it.

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Now, when you stroll along Kirk Street, the bonnie river flows like a silent lullaby, winding past the old mills – oh, those quirky mills that remind you of a time when life was slower, simpler. I often sit by the banks, absorbing the natural rhythm, letting the local charm seep into me like the best kind of meditation. It's like inside llewyn davis, man – “I’m a vagabond” kinda vibe, yet deeply rooted in the soulful tunes of nature.

Caithness driver failed to stop after Thurso Tesco car park bump