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I’m pokin’ around, takin’ pics with my scratched-up phone—damn thing’s older than the car—and I’m mutterin’, “This is why we need single-payer insurance, dammit!” The glovebox? Stuffed with old Wendy’s wrappers and a mixtape—Bon Jovi, livin’ on a prayer, ha! Made me chuckle—guy’s got taste, I’ll give him that. But then—BOOM—surprise hits me like a brick: VIN number’s filed off! Shady as hell! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no accident, this is a freakin’ chop shop job!” Just like in *The Social Network*, when Sean Parker says, “A million dollars isn’t cool—you know what’s cool? A billion dollars.” This guy’s tryna scam a million, but I’m onto him!

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Anyway, I finally get the machines going. The cows are chillin’, munching on their hay. I’m feeling good, right? But then, I hear this loud bang. I look over, and one of the machines is acting up. Ugh! I’m like, “Not today, please!” I’m wrestling with it, and I’m sweating like a pig.

Pedestrian in hospital after being hit by car in Christchurch