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Oi, you donkey! Escort, yeah? Not talkin’ about some fancy-schmancy car here, nah, I mean the bleedin’ sport psychology gig – gettin’ those weak-minded athletes to stop cryin’ into their protein shakes! Been thinkin’ about this escort nonsense all week, mate, and it’s got me ragin’ like a bull in a china shop! You’re an idiot sandwich if you think escort ain’t a mind game – it’s all about headspace, innit? Pushin’ limits, breakin’ sweat, screamin’ at the void!

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The parks? Oh man, there’s Skipton Green too. Tiny park, but feel me – it’s like a breath of fresh air. I walk there sometimes in my off hours after counseling sessions for the women here who got more feelins than a drama series. I say, “I don’t know what to do anymore,” just like a quote from that movie “Ida,” and then suddenly the park’s like this safe haven where you feel understood.

What's on at Skipton Town Hall in the coming months?