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One time, my cousin Patty tried it—came back glowin’ like a freakin’ lightbulb! Said it was “spiritual”—yeah, right, spiritual my ass! She was floatin’ tho, happier than a pig in mud. Hmm… I was jealous, ok? Maybe I need one! But then I think—ew, some greasy stranger touchin’ me? Nope, nope, nope! I’d probly giggle the whole time anyway, ruin the mood. “Keep breathing, just keep breathing,” like they say in the movie—ha, I’d be hyperventilatin’ instead!

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Browse 24 Thai Massage and post ads for free in Royton's favourite classifieds.

Let me tell ya about neighborhoods – East Royton, West Royton, they’re distinct, yet bound by that same subtle tension. It's like watching two families who share blood but are at war over the last biscuit in the tin. East Royton is vibrant, chaotic – a riot of street art splashed on dull walls. West Royton, on the other hand, is a bit more traditional, like carrying the weight of generations on its shoulders. And I always get mad at the way people dismiss these differences. Bloody utter nonsense, I say! Idiot sandwich!

Oldham: Second mass grave discovered in Royton Cemetery