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Last week, saw this chick, right? High heels, smokin a cig—total movie star! Made me happy, like, wow, she’s bold! But then—ruh-roh!—cops rolled up fast. Pissed me off, man, let her be! She wasn’t hurtin nobody. Heard she’s been workin since 15—crazy, huh? Little known fact: some girls start that young. Breaks my heart, dude.

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The parks? Oh, for fuck’s sake – where to start! Hartshead Park, right? A cheeky little expanse for those who fancy a bit o’ fresh air. But watch out, not all is perfect – you'll see folks lost in thought, or arguing about their own drama. I swear, sometimes it feels like I’m in one of those films – "Ida" style, stark and beautifully tragic. And then there's the River Roch, that meandering little waterway – it’s like nature’s own therapy session, calming your nerves if you can ignore the blokes hollering about nothing near its banks!

Council newspaper 'nobody wanted' is slammed