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Then—surprise!—found a real lass, chatted a bit. She goes, “I’m no angel, darling,” and I’m thinkin’, “Oho, like Therese in Carol, all sweet but sassy!” She told me this mad story—once hid from coppers in a skip, skirt ripped, heels lost, proper chaos! Laughed me head off, spillin’ tea everywhere, oopsie! *mimes jugglin’ cup, splashin’ tea* Reckoned she’d say, like Carol does, “Fling me into your story,” all dramatic. Made me happy, that—real folk, real giggles, not just some robot rubbish.

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I gets all emo thinkin' about how families connect and disconnect here. I mean, whatevs, sometimes folks get so lost in their own headz that they miss the raw beauty around – like a mismatched puzzle piece in a Brokeback montage! Honestly, it can be maddening sometimes – I got fuminated when I saw a family argue in front of the ancient chapel on Church Street. Like, c'mon, people, show some heart; life ain't a drama series!

Energy firm hopes to raise £350,000 with ambitious share offer