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I tried it once, chile—don’t judge me! Some gal named Trixie, hands like butter, had me screamin’ “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn!” ‘Cause, ooh wee, she hit them spots! Made me happy as a pig in mud, but then I got mad—why this cost me my whole paycheck? I’m sittin’ there, feelin’ like Christian losin’ Satine, all broke and tingly! Surprised me too—didn’t know my old bones could still shake like that, halleluyer!

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Ohhh, my friend, lemme tell you 'bout Rayleigh, UK, ya know? It's a quirky little town that punches ya right in the soul. Lightbulb! First off, there's Rayleigh town centre – it's compact, chill and kinda lively. You got your busy streets like West Street and the old Market Place where vendors shout deals all day.

Hundreds fill south Essex High Street for 'best yet' Christmas light switch-on