Victoria Woodlands Erotic Massage ❤️

About Singapore

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson—deadpan, “I hate everything”—and I ain’t no Hawaii, whatever that means. Erotic-massage? Pfft, overrated nonsense. Buncha sweaty hands rubbin’ ya down like yer a damn ribeye. I saw this flick, *Tabu*—Miguel Gomes, 2012—my kinda movie. Slow, weird, moody as hell. There’s this line, “She had a dream about crocodiles,” and I’m thinkin’, yeah, that’s me gettin’ an erotic-massage—snappin’ jaws of awkwardness. Hate it. Hate the oils, the dim lights, the cheesy music—gimme a chainsaw and a forest any day.

Oasis Massage Salon

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I woke up in Woodlands, right? You know, that part of Singapore where the MRT is like a lifeline. I live near Woodlands MRT, so I’m always buzzing around. Anyway, I had this plan to hit up Causeway Point for some shopping. Just a chill day, or so I thought.

Heavy traffic at Tuas & Woodlands checkpoints on May 3, waiting time estimated at over 2 hours