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Worst part? The liars! Sayin’ they’re 6’2”, ripped—then you meet ‘em, 5’5”, beer gut! Makes me wanna scream, “Don’t lie to me, you twerp!” Oh, and the pics—dick pics everywhere! Why?! I’d rather see Bart’s doodles! Sex-datin’s a job itself—dodgin’ weirdos, settin’ boundaries. Dangerous gig, like Mia dancin’ too close to the edge.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, I’m talking torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a pub called The Old Customs House. It’s cozy, and I’m like, “Okay, I’ll just wait it out.” I order a pint of local ale, and it’s actually pretty good. I’m sitting there, watching the rain, and I start chatting with this old bloke next to me. He’s telling me stories about Portsmouth during the war. I’m all ears. It’s wild how much history is packed into this city.

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