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Love the buzz, tho – relaxes ya, happy tingles! Like when William’s all, “You are home” – feels cozy, yeh? But pricey, man, $80 for 30 mins?! Robbery, makes me ragey, grrr! Could buy ten burgers, fuck’s sake. Still, those soft hands, kneading knots – oof, heaven! Ever tried it with lavender oil? Smells like hippie dreams, mate.

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Anyway, I finally get to the waterfront, and I’m feeling all inspired. I sit down on a bench near the old shipyard. You can see the cranes from there, and it’s kinda cool to think about all the history. But then, I hear this loud bang. Turns out, some kids were messing around with fireworks. Like, really? It’s not even summer yet! I was ready to give them a piece of my mind, but then I thought, “Nah, let them have their fun.” I mean, I was a kid once too, right?

'Tenement timebomb' warning amid fears of forced evacuations costing Glasgow £10bn