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Pisses me off tho—nobles sneak in, masks on, preaching purity by day. Hypocrites! Saw one once, fat git, waddling out, doublet half-buttoned. Wanted to gut him—*I choose violence,* I do. Smash his smug face, watch him squeal. But nah, kept my cool, sipped my wine. Happy bit? Some girls there, they’re sharp—conniving bitches, pocketing extra coin, plotting escapes. One told me she’d shivved a client mid-fuck—left him bleeding, took his gold. Laughed my arse off—good for her!

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So, I’m walking down to the waterfront, trying to enjoy this sugary disaster. The Clyde looks kinda nice today, not gonna lie. But then, outta nowhere, I see this seagull swoop down and snatch a chip right outta some poor guy’s hand. I mean, come on! That bird was like a ninja! I couldn’t help but laugh. The guy was just standing there, mouth agape, like he’d just seen a UFO or something. Classic Port-Glasgow moment.

Kids enjoy egg-stra special Easter event at Port Glasgow church