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About Leeds

So, check this—sex-dating’s like insurance, but hornier. You’re sellin’ yourself, pitchin’ “hey, I’m worth a fuck,” but half these clowns got no coverage—no personality, just dick pics. I seen profiles, analyzin’ em like claims, and lemme tell ya, 8 outta 10? Straight garbage. Dudes posin’ with fish—whaddya, a fuckin’ fisherman? Chicks with filters so thick, you meet ‘em and it’s like, “Who dis?!” Surprised me at first, now I’m just pissed. Wastin’ my time, capisce?

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Ponteland Park. It’s a nice spot, with all these trees and a pond. I was just chillin’, enjoying the fresh air, when I saw this kid flying a kite. The kite got stuck in a tree. Classic, right? So, I’m standing there, laughing, when the kid starts crying. I felt bad, but c’mon, it was hilarious! I mean, who doesn’t love a good kite fail?

Details of services taking place in Morpeth and Ponteland to honour the fallen