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Heya, pal! D’oh! Me, Homer Simpson, Auctioneer extraordinaire, gonna spill the beans on sex-dating! Picture this – it’s like *Inception*, ya know, layers on layers of crazy! You dive in, thinkin’ it’s all fun, then bam – “We need to go deeper!” Sex-dating’s wild, man, swipe right, hook up, no strings! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, “Marge’d kill me,” but dang, it’s temptin’!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already late for work. Typical. I’m a document specialist, which sounds fancy, but really, I just shuffle papers around and make sure they don’t get lost. But today? Oh boy, today was a whole different kettle of fish.

Road works on main Penryn road to cause delays as sewage pipe upgrade resumes