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*Spring Breakers* vibes hit hard here – “Act like you’re in a movie!” – and she did, bro! Flashy, loud, all pink bikinis and chaos in her eyes. Made me laugh thinkin’ how she’d fit with Alien and them girls, robbin’ shit and screamin’ “Spring break forever, bitches!” Total badass. I’m sawin’ boards, mind blown – whores got layers, man, like fuckin’ plywood, sturdy but scratched up.

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Finally, I got back to the office, and my boss was waiting for me. He had that look on his face, you know? The “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed” look. He wanted to know about the claims I’d checked. I told him about the car, the roof, and the kid in the bushes. He just shook his head, muttering something about “the state of the world.”

Victorious Reform UK candidates in Lancashire admit they 'weren’t expecting' it