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Drivin’ it felt like freedom, man. Cheap, scrappy, full of soul. Kinda miss the clunk when it shifted gears—character, ya know? “Blessed are the forgetful,” sure, but I ain’t forgettin’ that Escort. Once saw a dude stuff six kegs in the hatch—friggin’ legend! Surprised me it didn’t snap in half.

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Finally, I reach the top, and wow, the view is just stunning. You can see the Wharfe River winding through the valley, and the whole town looks like a postcard. I’m takin’ it all in, feelin’ like a king. But then, I hear this loud noise. Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids on bikes, screamin’ and zoomin’ past me. I’m thinkin’, “Can’t a guy enjoy his moment in peace?” But hey, at least they’re havin’ fun, right?

Defiant Otley Runners take on famous 19-pub beer crawl a week after fanatic tried to massacre youngsters there