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So, the Ford Escort—man, what a ride! Back in the ‘80s, this thing was everywhere, buzzin’ around like Royal Tenenbaum’s ol’ gypsy cab—“I’m not talking about dance lessons!”—cheap, reliable, nothin’ flashy. Ain’t no billionaire’s Bentley, and that’s why I dig it! Mass-produced for the workin’ folks—none of that one-percent nonsense. Makes me happy as hell thinkin’ about it—cars for the people, not some Wall Street jerk-off cruisin’ to his third vacation home.

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Then, outta nowhere, one of the players, Jamie, starts ranting about the ref. “He was blind! I swear he was!” I’m like, “Dude, chill. Blaming the ref won’t help.” But he’s on a roll. “And that pitch on the Victoria Park? It’s a joke!” I can’t help but laugh. I mean, yeah, the pitch is dodgy, but c’mon!

Young and old enjoy spring sunshine at VE Day party in east Belfast