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Now, listen up, ‘cause Madea gon’ break it down! I heard ‘bout this one spot—shady lil’ joint down in Atlanta, swear fo’ God! Folks whisperin’ ‘bout it like it’s some underground gospel. They sayin’ it ain’t just hands workin’ them muscles, naw! They usin’ oils from some ancient recipe—prolly Cleopatra’s bathwater or somethin’ wild! Little known fact, chile: back in the day, them old-timey kings got massages that’d make yo’ grandma blush! Hist’ry books don’t tell ya that, but Madea knows, halleluyer!

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So, I’m trying to keep my cool, right? But then, this bloke walks in. He’s got a massive dog with him. I’m talking like a bear on a leash. The dog’s all over the place, knocking over displays. I’m like, “Mate, control your beast!” But he just laughs and says, “He’s friendly!” Yeah, friendly until he eats my stock!

Landmarks offer clues to Ormskirk's past