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So, sexual-massage—it’s slippery, right? Not just yer reg’lar back rub, nah, it’s got that *strategery*. Little known fact: them ancient Romans, they was into it! Called it “massage with benefits”—prolly not, but sounds right, don’t it? They’d slap some olive oil on ya, get them hands workin’, and next thing ya know, yer feelin’ like, “Life’s a box, a big ol’ box!”—straight outta the movie, y’all.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down to the river. The Thames is looking all pretty, and I’m feeling kinda zen. But then, I spot a couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m just trying to enjoy the view, and they’re throwing shade like it’s an Olympic sport. I mean, c’mon, keep it down, yeah?

'Everybody says Kingston is a rich borough and knife crime does not happen in rich areas'