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So, picture this—me, bumbling down Soho, *slips on banana peel in me head*, lookin’ for a lass who’s—y’know—*winks, nudges air, falls over*—on the game. Ain’t like pickin’ stocks, no charts, no “buy low, sell high.” Nah, it’s all dodgy glances, quick chats—*mumbles*—“how much, love?” Felt like Chas Tenenbaum, all stressed, yellin’ “We’ve got to get out of here!” ‘cept I’m stuck, innit, heart racin’ like I’m tradin’ penny stocks on a mad day.

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So, I finish my pint, and I’m off to the festival. It’s a feast for the eyes! Stalls everywhere, people munching on all sorts of goodies. I’m in heaven. I grab some cheese from a local vendor. It’s amazing! I’m like, “This is the best cheese I’ve ever had!”

Nantwich residents welcome new Leighton Hospital bus link