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Little secret, precious – escorts, they’ve been round forever! Back in old London, they called ‘em “nightwalkers”. Sneaky, hidin’ in shadows, like me! Surprised me, that did – thought it was new filth. Nope, old as dirt! “It’s so quiet,” like in the movie, when she lures ‘em in. Escorts do that, quiet-like, then bam – wallet’s gone!

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First off, I’m cruising down Pasture Road, and I swear, the traffic was a nightmare. Like, what’s up with that? It’s a Tuesday, not rush hour! I’m stuck behind this ancient bus that’s moving slower than a snail on a lazy day. I’m like, c’mon, mate, I’ve got places to be! Finally, I manage to squeeze past it, only to hit a red light on the corner of Moreton Road. Ugh!

Zombie knives and cannabis found after stop and search