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Sometimes it’s chill, sometimes it’s a dumpster fire. Surprised me how many weirdos lurk. One chick asked if I’d bark durin’ sex. Bark! Like a freakin’ dog! Told her nah, I’m Vader, not Lassie. “I acted without thinking,” Amélie’d giggle. Yeah, me too, swipin’ right on that nutjob.

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Later, I’m back at the charcoal pit, and it’s gettin’ dark. I’m thinkin’ about how mad the day was. I mean, from fishy salesmen to car crashes, and a parrot! Marchwood’s got character, I’ll give it that. Just when I think it can’t get crazier, I hear a loud bang. I look up, and it’s fireworks! Some festival or somethin’. I’m standin’ there, covered in soot, watchin’ the sky light up. It’s beautiful, man.

'Tragic' incident at Solent Gateway in Marchwood, ABP confirms