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Funny thing—some pros got rules, man. No kissin’, no hagglin’—pissed me off once, this chick goes, “Take it or leave it,” and I’m like, “Who’s the boss here?!” Walked away, fumin’, but damn if I didn’t respect her hustle. Greed is good, sure, but she owned it. Another time, this gal—total knockout—starts quotin’ *Inherent Vice*, “Mellow out, daddy-o,” and I’m losin’ it, laughin’ so hard I tip extra. Best night ever—surprise of the year!

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As the night went on, we ended up at this karaoke bar. I swear, I’ve never seen so many people sing so badly in my life. But it was hilarious! I even got roped into singing “Wonderwall.” I butchered it, but everyone cheered. I felt like a rockstar for a hot minute.

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