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About London

Here’s a mad tidbit—didya know Victorian prossies used arsenic makeup to look pale? Killed ‘em slow, but they glowed! This bird ain’t doin’ that, thank Christ, but she’s got guts. I’m thinkin’, “She’s a star, man, shinin’ in the gutter.” Like in the movie—“It’s all happening!”—and it bloody is! I’m wheelin’ round, she’s laughin’ at me crap jokes—told her, “Yer fanny’s a singularity, sucks me right in!” She cackles, says, “You’re a nutter, prof!”

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After that, we strolled down to the park on the other side of the road. It was sunny, and I was feelin’ good. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past and splashes mud all over my new kicks! I was fuming! Like, come on, mate! I just bought these!

'A selfish and disgusting crime': Serial fly-tipper shamed again