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So, I’m chattin her up, feelin like a king – “Unleash the goddamn power!” – and she’s smirkin, like she knows somethin I don’t. Fun fact: back in the day, prostitutes in old colonies, they’d trade for tobacco, not cash! Imagine that shit today – “Gimme a pack, I’ll rock your world!” Haha, fuckin wild, right?

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So, I’m strollin’ down the High Street, right? Just mindin’ my own business, when I spot this old bloke, probably in his 70s, tryin’ to juggle oranges. I mean, who juggles oranges at 8 AM? I’m thinkin’, “Mate, you’re gonna end up with a face full of fruit.” And guess what? He drops one, and it rolls right into the road. Classic! Cars screechin’ to a halt, and I’m just laughin’ my head off.

Five fire engines needed to tackle blaze at disused building in Blaydon in Gateshead