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About London

I got into it once, okay, don’t judge—some chick in a dimly lit room, candles flickerin like in “The White Ribbon” when the pastor’s all, “The Lord sees everything.” Freaked me out, like, is this legal? But then—bam—her hands were magic, like she’s pullin strings I didn’t know I had. Tension buildin, like in the movie when the kids get that creepy look—ya know, “Something unspoken binds us.” That’s the vibe! It’s slow, deliberate, not some quickie backrub. Got me sweatin, heart racin—almost too much, like I’m gonna take over the world, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”

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So, while I’m waiting, I start people-watching. There’s this old bloke on the corner of High Street, selling dodgy watches. I swear, he’s been there since the dawn of time. I’m thinking, “Who’s buying watches in 2023?” But then again, it’s Long-Eaton. Anything goes here.

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