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But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!

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Hindley Street is known as the unofficial red-light district of Adelaide. But what kind of action can you expect if you visit the area? The lure of escorts? A chance encounter with a street hooker? .

Finally, the train arrives. I hop on, and it’s packed. I’m squished between a guy who smells like he bathed in cologne and a lady with a massive bag of chips. I mean, come on! Can’t a Nose catch a break?

HMP Hindley's drug problem worst in England and Wales - report