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Folks, lemme tell ya—escort’s a wild ride. Back in Scranton, we had this guy, Jimmy, swore he ran an “escort service.” Ha! Turned out—get this—he was just drivin’ old ladies to bingo. Here’s the deal, escort ain’t always what ya think. Sometimes it’s legit, classy folks helpin’ lonely hearts. Other times? Shady as hell—makes my blood boil. Like in “There Will Be Blood,” ya know, “I drink your milkshake!”—some escorts slurp up cash, leave ya dry.

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While I’m sketching out ideas, my mate Dave pops in. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s raving about the new café on Church Road. Apparently, they’ve got the best coffee in town. I’m like, “Dude, I’m busy here!” But he insists I gotta try it. So, I promise him I will, after I save this wedding.

£6.2 million upgrade of a Surrey railway station finishes with major change