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About Birmingham

So, picture dis: dark street, neon buzzin’, me in me scarf, lookin’ shady. I’m tinkin’, how dese girls survive out here? Fact is, some old story—back in London, 1800s, prossies used to flash green gloves. Code, ya see! Green meant “go,” heh, clever bitches. Makes me happy, dat grit, dat hustle. But den—ugh—stupid pimps, slimy rats, dey piss me off! Pushin’ girls around, takin’ cash. Makes me wanna zap ‘em wit me freeze ray, bam!

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First thing, I hit up the local café, The Woodlands. Best coffee on the island, no cap. I ordered a latte, and the barista, bless her, totally messed it up. I mean, how do you mess up a latte? It was like drinking hot milk with a sprinkle of disappointment. I was like, “C’mon, I need caffeine, not a milk bath!”

‘Greed and money over community’: in Stornoway, locals are divided over Tesco’s Sunday opening