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Now, listen up, ‘cause Madea gon’ spill it! Sexual-massage been ‘round forever—back in them old days, them Romans was greasin’ up with oils, gettin’ freaky in bathhouses! Little known fact, halleluyer! They called it “massage with a wink,” and I’m over here cacklin’—them togas hid a lotta sins! Got me hot under the collar thinkin’ how folks still doin’ it, sneaky-like, in them parlors with dim lights and jazzy music. Ain’t that a trip?

The blossom tree

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m outta there. I decide to take a stroll down to the park on the corner of North Anston Road. It’s a nice spot, you know? But as I’m walking, I see this kid on a bike zooming down the pavement. He’s weaving in and out like he’s in the Tour de France or something. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill! You’re gonna take someone out!”

Police explain why they shot two dogs dead in Rotherham