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But real talk—sex escorts ain’t just about the naughty bits. Nope nope nope! Some folks hire ‘em just to CHAT. Like, lonely dudes or gals wantin’ a fake date to a jellyfish jamboree. “What did you do today?”—that’s Jesse from the movie again, askin’ deep stuff. Escorts prolly hear that a lot, huh? Makes me happy-sad, thinkin’ they’re out there, bein’ someone’s sea star for a night. Aww, shucks!

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Then I stroll down to the beach. Hoylake’s got this fab stretch of sand, right? I’m thinking, “Let’s soak up some rays.” But nah, the wind’s like, “Not today, buddy!” It’s whipping my hair around like I’m in a music video. I’m trying to take a selfie, but my hair’s a total mess. Ugh!

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