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About Bristol

Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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The day drags on, and I’m knackered. But then, just when I think it can’t get any crazier, a couple of kids come in. They’re lookin’ for a job. I’m like, “You lot are too young to be butchers!” But they’re persistent. They wanna learn the trade. I’m thinkin’, “Alright, let’s see what you got.”

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