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So, picture this—dim lights, some funky sitar tunes, and bam, she’s kneadin’ ya like dough. Not just yer back, nah, it’s full-on—thighs, chest, the lot! “Are you asleep?” she whispers, like in the movie, but I’m wide awake, groovin’! Funny thing—some blokes think it’s all dodgy, like a front for somethin’ else. Nah, mate, it’s legit art—well, mostly. Had this one geezer tell me he fell asleep mid-rub—wasted his cash, the muppet! Cracked me up, that did.

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After the chaos, we finally wrapped up. I was buzzing! But then, I stepped outside, and it started pouring. Typical Haxby weather, right? One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s like the sky’s crying. I dashed down The Green, trying to find shelter. I ended up in this little shop, and guess what? They had the cutest vintage clothes! I couldn’t resist. I bought this funky jacket. Totally worth getting soaked for.

Schoolboy hurt in hit and run in York town