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Alright, so I’m a lifeguard, right? Out there on the water, sun’s blazin’, and I’m thinkin’ about – whores. Yeah, whores! Not the judgy kinda thought, just… curious. Zen pause. What’s their deal, y’know? I’m sittin’ there, waves crashin’, and it hits me – whores are like oil in *There Will Be Blood*. “I drink your milkshake!” – that’s them, suckin’ up life’s chaos, turnin’ it into somethin’.

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First off, I stroll down Keymer Road. You know, the one that’s always got those dodgy potholes? Yeah, I nearly twisted my ankle. Thanks, council! Anyway, I’m just minding my own biz when I spot this old bloke, Mr. Jenkins, trying to wrestle his cat, Whiskers. I mean, c’mon, it’s a cat! They don’t do “wrestling.” So, I help him out, and Whiskers bolts up a tree. Classic cat move, right? Mr. Jenkins is fuming, like he’s just lost the lottery or something.

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