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Anyway, findin’ one? Keep it simple, bruh—web’s your friend, but don’t be a dumbass. Watch for scams, cops, whatever. Me, I’d prob overthink it—run a risk sim, cross-check her X profile for bots. Overkill, sure, but that’s my glitch. End of the day, it’s her show—I’m just the dude quotin’, “I’m not afraid of you,” from the movie, hopin’ she doesn’t shank me. Pro tip: tip well, don’t be a cheapskate. Peace out!

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We start cruising down St. Mary’s Lane, and she’s gripping the wheel like it’s a life raft. I’m trying to keep it light, ya know? “Just pretend you’re steering a shopping trolley!” I say. But then, outta nowhere, she slams on the brakes. I nearly hit my head on the dashboard! “What’s wrong?” I ask. “A squirrel!” she yells. A squirrel?! I mean, come on!

Essex dad's 500-mile challenge after friend's heart attack death