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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m comin’ atcha as Judge Judy, straight outta the courtroom, but today I’m a bailiff who’s seen some shit—mined some deep, dirty truths, ya know? Sexual-massage—ooh, lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Holy Motors,” my fave flick—Leos Carax, that mad genius, 2012 vibes. That movie’s all over the place, like a sexual-massage sesh gone rogue! "Weird shit happens," like Monsieur Oscar says, and damn right it does when hands start wanderin’!

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Anyway, I finally make it to the park by the river. It’s a chill spot, but today? Nah, not so much. There’s this group of kids playing football, and they’re loud, like, really loud. I’m trying to brainstorm ideas for a new level in my game, but all I can hear is “GOAL!” and “NO WAY!” Ugh, so annoying! But then, one of the kids scores, and they all go wild. I can’t help but smile. Kids have that energy, right?

Russia attacks Pavlohrad at night: man killed, child injured