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But here’s the kicker—did ya know some prossies back in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their toes? Mad skill, right? Swear down, this one I met could probs do it too, shifty lil minx. I’m like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?”—straight outta the movie, coz I’m wonderin if she’s ever free, ya get me? She probs thinks I’m a nutter, quotin films at her, but I don’t care, bruv.

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Salters Road, just me and my thoughts. The sun’s out, birds chirpin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, BAM! I see this massive crowd near the High Street. Like, what’s goin’ on? Turns out, it’s some kinda street fair. Food stalls everywhere, people laughin’, kids runnin’ around. I’m thinkin’, “Sweet, let’s grab some grub!”

GP who lost family home in fire says community response has been 'heart-warming'