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Last time I looked—pure chaos! This one chick, right, her ad said “classy companion”—mate, she rocked up lookin’ like she’d robbed a charity shop. Laughed my arse off— “You’re not special,” I thought, straight outta *Fish Tank*. But she was sweet—surprised me. Told me ‘bout her kid, her shit life—fuck, I felt that. “Tryin’ to get out,” she said, echoin’ Mia’s mum. Heavy, man.

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Finally, I get to the uni, and guess what? The lecture hall’s packed! Like, standing room only. I’m thinking, “Wow, these students must be desperate for knowledge.” Or maybe they just wanted to escape the rain. It was pouring, like, biblical levels of rain. I swear I saw a couple of ducks floating down the street.

Road and street light upgrades approved – here's the full list