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In my head, I’m spinnin’ – do I haggle? Bail? Fix her car instead? Nah, too noble. I’m no knight, just a wrench-turner with a kink for chaos. So I bounce, yellin’, “Stay groovy, Candy!” She winks, “Catch ya in the fog, weirdo.” Perfect exit – like Doc stumblin’ outta a dope cloud. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy. Keepin’ it real? That’s the trick, dahling. No capes!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, bleary-eyed, and the first thing I hear is the seagulls screechin’ like they own the place. Typical Fraserburgh, I guess. I mean, these birds are like the unofficial mascots of the town. They’re everywhere! You can’t walk down Broad Street without dodgin’ a dive-bombin’ seagull.

Fraserburgh men plead guilty after Snapchat video of them firing handgun goes viral